And this new telecom venture is long on bravado, short on specifics, and covered - naturally - in gold. Enter the T1, a $499 Android-powered device dipped in what we can only assume is the same “gold” used on casino doorknobs and Mar-a-Lago bidets. According to Eric Trump - yes, the family’s designated public spokesperson for tech launches and legal proceedings - the phone is “Made in the USA.” Which part? Great question. Manufactured by whom? Your guess is as good as ours. Fox Business sure didn’t press too hard.

Specs? Oh, they exist. A 50-megapixel camera and 256 GB of storage. Why $47.45 a month for the service? The price is a loving homage to Trump’s numerical presidential journey: 45th, then 47th. The plan includes unlimited calls, texts, and international calling to 100 countries.

Who's Actually Behind It?

Despite the patriotic marketing fanfare, Trump Mobile isn’t exactly being soldered together in Don Jr.’s garage. Like many Trump ventures, this one involves licensing the family name - meaning someone else is actually making the phone, running the network, and doing all the telecom stuff.

DTTM Operations, the shadowy entity behind Trump’s trademarks, has filed applications for “T1” and related telecom services, making it official: the Trump name can now be found on skyscrapers, steaks, and SIM cards.

The promise that this piece of gadgetry would be forged on American soil was quickly tempered by Eric Trump himself, who now speaks of future aspirations rather than present realities. “Eventually, all the phones can be built in the United States,” he hedged - future tense doing much of the heavy lifting.

One need not be a telecoms analyst to note the implausibility of assembling competitive smartphones in the U.S. by August, the promised delivery date. Even Apple has struggled to meaningfully shift manufacturing westward. Trump Media's suggestion that plants in Alabama, California, and Florida might soon be humming with smartphone production seems, at best, aspirational. According to Apple Insider, “the T1 phone may be modded in the USA", but “it certainly wasn’t designed or assembled in the U.S.”